I Don't Want to be Who I was Before

Dear Kuya Olan,

Uhm . . . Hi! Please call me LostGirl. I started reading Youngster because it is a school requirement, but I really got to like it, especially the sections “Inspire Hub,” “Inbox,” and “Candidly Teen.” Anyway, I’m sending this e-mail because I need a bit of help, and I don’t think my parents, sister, and friends will help me out that much because I have put too much weight (problems) on them already in the past.

So my problem is my past and stress. I’m starting high school, and it’s getting me a bit stressed because everyone’s saying it’s really difficult. This doesn’t help the fact that I’m stressing myself just to be happy. Don’t get this wrong or anything, but my life is fine. It’s just that when I was a bit younger, I kept talking about suicide, depression, and how my life was so miserable, and I wouldn’t stop. Whenever the teacher said, “We’re making an essay! You can choose any topic you like!,” I’d say, “I’ll talk about suicide and depression!” And it’s ridiculous.

 I keep remembering things like these, and it kind of motivates me to not be like that again. But it’s making me more stressed to keep that attitude away from my friends. I’ve already broken a glass mug and a spatula in the process. I don’t want to be who I was before, but I don’t want to be stressed as well.

Sigh, what should I do? 

Thanks for taking your time reading this because I’m pretty sure thousands of students are sending you e-mails right now, and it probably is pretty hard to manage them all. God bless your soul for helping many of us.

- LostGirl

P.S. My mom had a psychiatrist meeting on hold for me, but we both agreed that I am normal. Do you think I should go?

Dear LostGirl,

I am glad that you appreciate Youngster Mag and the sections that you have mentioned. I hope your classmates get to appreciate the magazine as you do. I have noted that you seemed to have a rough past considering the stuff that you have mentioned in       your e-mail.

It is apparent that you want to move on to the present, but the drag is that your past keeps on affecting you somehow. From the way I see it, it is not actually your past that stresses you out but your struggle to leave it behind. It seems that your friends sort of bring back or resurrect the way you were. I have also noticed that you get affected easily by what others say. Note what you have mentioned about junior high school life.

You have already made the first step in resolving your problem, that is, to decide, and to quote you, “to not be who you were before.” But it shouldn’t stop there. You also got to be resolute with overcoming and conquering your past. Don’t treat your past as an enemy that you have to get rid of. Instead make it a friend by getting lessons from it. This will definitely put direction in your life. Just as a ship has a rudder, a life armed with lessons from the past will make sure of where it is headed to. Correct what went wrong, continue what went right.

Lastly, I find nothing wrong with you having a meeting with a psychiatrist. From your letter, I’m quite sure that you’re like any typical youngster. It is just a meeting or consultation. Just as one would consult a priest, a pastor, a pediatrician, a dentist, a lawyer, or a carpenter for some expert advice regarding certain concerns, you would be doing the same to widen your horizon and enhance your life’s journey.

And before I end this, please do find time to consult God. He has lots to say to perk and hype up your life. The best is yet to come. 

In Christ’s care,
Kuya Olan


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