Dear Kuya Olan,
Good day to you! You can call me ShyNerd to hide my real identity since most of my friends would likely read this letter (if it ever gets picked), as they are all fascinated with Youngster magazine, especially the column “inBox.”
Just like my friends, I am really into reading “inBox” because I can relate with the issues of my fellow youngsters and even learn new things from problems I have not yet experienced. I noticed that you are really good at giving advice. It made me want to send you an e-mail regarding the difficulty I am currently facing.
The thing is, I’m a sophomore (Grade 8), and even though dating someone is the farthest on my mind, I still can’t help having a crush on the opposite gender. Of course, many adolescents are experiencing this, but my problem isn’t the typical “my-crush-doesn’t-like-me-back” scenario simply because my friend is also part of the complication.
I have a friend whom I’ve known since my elementary years, sixth grade to be exact. She has done a lot of good things for me, which I haven’t yet been able to repay. We practically trust each other and we tell each other’s secrets such as whom we admire. Towards the end of our freshman year, she told me and a bunch of other friends about her crush. As her friends, we gave all our support to her. It so happened that this school year, I got to be her crush’s classmate instead of her. And another oh-so-wonderful fact is that I happened to be her crush’s seatmate. What a coincidence!
I would converse with this guy during class hours. We seem to enjoy each other’s company that people assume we like each other. And . . . it is getting true on my part. I am slowly developing feelings for him, and I just can’t help blushing when he teases me. I always have those kilig moments whenever he is nearby and he notices me. I feel like I’m betraying my friend who has done so much for me, and the last thing that I want is to be her rival just because of a boy. But still, I can’t simply give up the boy I like. I am torn between choosing him or my friend who has been the shoulder I could cry on.
Kuya Olan, please help me. Whom should I choose? Thank you and I really hope to get an answer soon.
It is so nice to know that you and your classmates like to read Youngster mag. What is even better to know is that “inBox” is a big help for youngsters like you. This is the purpose of our magazine, to be of help to young people.
As to your situation, it is something that you did not ask for, but it just happened. Things fell into place, and you were not expecting it. The people whom you want to choose from were not actually choices at the start. You created the choice by adding something to the situation. You added emotion. You claim to be a reader of “inBox,” so I assume that you know that emotions can complicate a situation and cause confusion. You made choices of the people around you. Your friend and the guy did not present themselves to you as options to choose from.
Between a good friend and a crush, weigh the significance and relevance of these people in your life right now. I am not trying to use sentimentality in driving my point here, but if you will look back to the times you and your friend had spent together, these are treasures that you want to bring with you as you grow older. True friendships are hard to get in these times of technology, of laptops and smartphones, of crushes and infatuations. A true friend comes not that often in life. They are “rare finds.” Meanwhile, you can have and change crushes anytime, any day, anywhere. Crushes come and go, but a true friend finds home in the heart.
With this, I will leave you the decision if you still want to make choices out of your good friend and your crush. I know that God will lead the way for you in making the right move. He is one friend who will never let you down.
Following the Divine Master,