My Bestfriend's Admission

Hi there, Kuya Olan!

I wanna thank you ’cause the “Inbox” part of the Youngster prepared me for the things that might happen in my teen life. You have already helped a lot of youngsters out there with their problems and struggles. And I’m one of them.

Some people say it’s cute when a guy and a girl are best friends. And even cuter when they put their relationship to a higher level. When from being best friends, they eventually become each other’s OTP or one true pair. 

I’m a girl, and yes, I have a guy best friend who will do anything to turn my frown into a smile. He is a best friend who’s always there for me in my highs or lows. We’ve been best friends for almost a year now. Everyone thinks that we are in a relationship, but trust me, we are not. It’s just that we are really close. I treat him like an older brother, the kind of brother I never had. But a few months ago, things started to get weird. I don’t know if it’s just me, but he has become a lot more protective than he used to be. He started getting jealous of people around me. He gets angry when I reply late to his text messages. At first I thought it’s normal, but I realized it was not. We started to have misunderstandings, arguments, and “nega” stuffs. It reached a point where we decided to end our friendship. But after a week or two, we talked and mended things up. But it happened again. Things went wrong, ended our friendship, and mended things again; but this time it’s different. He explained to me why he acted like that. He admitted to me that he likes me.

I really don’t know what to say or do because years ago, I swore to myself that I’ll never fall for my best friend whoever it’ll be. And I sort of don’t feel the same way toward him. What should I do? How can I tell him the truth that I don’t like him the way he likes me? Because I really don’t want to give him high hopes.

asdfghjkl of University of Saint Anthony

Dear asdfghjkl,

It is very nice to know that the “inBox” section of Youngster mag is coming handy for young people like you. I hope your classmates have the same use for it as you do. 

Life is full of surprises, some are pleasant while others are unwelcome. Some of these surprises fall within relationships like that between you and your best friend. Friendships come in different packages and with different wrappings. Some wrappings do not necessarily say something of what is inside the package. A Christmas wrapper covers a Christmas gift, but what if a birthday wrapper wraps a valentine gift? The friendship wrapper your best friend used to cover your relationship has a different package inside. This was his feelings for you. No wonder he acted differently. He uncovered the friendship wrapper and revealed his package of feelings for you to which you are not ready and will not accept. You have mentioned that you will never cross the bounds of friendship with him and you intend to keep him within your “friend zone.” You need to take heart and open up to him what you have in mind as soon as possible. Holding back your revelation will prolong not only his agony but your agony as well. If he did his revelation, you can do your own revelation as well. Avoid making too much expectations as to what may happen next after you tell him that he is good enough just being a best friend and that’s that. You might be rejecting his proposal, but it does not mean that you are rejecting him as a best friend.

I know that a lot of “what if’s” will flash in your mind, but you need to do something about it to spare you from any further complications in your relationship with him. Have a steady heart. I will not say that it will be easy, but it is indeed “doable,” and you can do it. Find courage in the truth that can be found only in God. He will be there for both of you. 

Yours in Christ the Divine Master, 
Kuya Olan

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