A Painful Regret

Dear Kuya Olan,

Hello! Your articles in the Youngster magazine have always been my favorite! I get to relate with students who send their stories and I learn from your advice as well.

This experience happened a long time ago, but it still has been bugging me lately.  A year ago, I sent a “friend request” to a guy in my school.  After a while, I got notified that he accepted my request. I was really surprised so I immediately sent him a message to thank him, and he thanked me as well. That’s when our conversation started. He had always been very sweet and considerate. Whenever we saw each other in school, I would always feel a special connection between us. At that point, I admitted to myself that, maybe, I had a crush on him but it was not that serious. This feeling continued until the way he treated me started to change. For some reason, he became extra sweet. Instead of our usual teasing, he started sending morning messages and would always ask if I already ate my breakfast. I got so confused. I wasn’t sure if he was giving me a hint that he liked me or if he was just actually playing around. After some time, I made a decision that I have been deeply regretting. I decided to stop replying to his messages. Whenever he sent me a message, I would always swipe and click the delete message button. He kept on contacting me until he got tired and finally stopped. Currently, I’m still at the same school while he transferred to another school. Even if this happened a year ago, I’m still bothered by the decision I made. 

What will I do, Kuya Olan? What do I have to do in order to remove this painful feeling?

-PolyesterGeek


Dear PolyesterGeek,

It is heartwarming to know that youngsters like you get to appreciate the magazine. You inspire us Youngster staff to keep on working for the media and               youth apostolate. 

I remember a priest who said that who and what we are now is the product of the decisions we made in the past. Having choices to make and options to take is a daily task. We never run out of them. One judges from the perspective and understanding of what is right and proper, that is, if the considerations and reflections of a pending decision have been thoroughly thought of. However, we should note that there is no guarantee that we will always make the right decision. 

We are bound to make wrong decisions and take the wrong options based on faulty and uncertain judgment. We can blame ourselves for this like the way you are doing, but you have to take into good consideration that no matter how wrong our decision can be, it is not the one we sought for in the first place. We decide with the premise that it is the correct thing to do. The mistake is not deliberate, and we should give space or room for ourselves to commit or make mistakes once in a while. Let these errors and mistakes from the wrong decisions we made in the past serve as life’s lessons so that we will not commit the same mistake again. We gotta move on. We should not let ourselves get weighed down by our guilt. What is important is the resolve to learn from these, gather what we have, and get on with our lives. Remember that you are not the only one who commits emotional blunders resulting from poorly thought-of decisions. Face it and accept that what was done is done, and it is time to move on. Do not let the cross of your mistake crucify you to a standstill. Behind the cross is the resurrection of hope that it will not happen again. God has a lot in store for you, my friend. He will be with you throughout all the right and wrong decisions of your life.  You’re never alone. 


In Christ the Good Shepherd, 
Kuya Olan

 

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