Afraid of Losing My Best Friend

Dear Kuya Olan,

I can say I’m a huge fan of your magazine. I really like the “inBox” and “Candidly Teen” sections because I can relate with the other youngsters. 

Okay, so it happened like this. There’s this person whom I really hated since the day I got to know her. I hated her for so many reasons but somehow that feeling was slowly fading away. Recently, that bad feeling came back when my best friend started hanging out with her. My best friend knew that I hated her so much because I told her the reasons why. 

It is hard for me to stop my best friend from associating with her because they’re classmates and I’m from another section. I’m starting to feel alone. I am scared to tell my best friend that I am getting jealous. What if my best friend misunderstands me? I am scared of losing my best friend because she knows all of my secrets and I know all of hers. But I couldn’t do anything about it. I always feel jealous whenever that girl hangs out with my best friend. I always think that the girl might take my best friend away from me though I am aware friends are not owned. 

Please help me, Kuya Olan. Thank you and God Bless!

- Turtles

Dear Turtles,

I am glad that you like “inBox” and it is encouraging to know that a youngster like you gets something from it. I hope you and your classmates would continue  doing so. 

You seem to be experiencing separation angst. It is quite apparent that you are quite worried and uncomfortable with the fact that your best friend is hanging out with someone you do not like. It seems kinda early for you to feel this way, although what you fear can truly happen. But the chance for it to happen is still quite remote. I would want you to check out the real reason why you dislike this person the moment you saw her. I would prefer using the word disliking than hating because you are not really angry at that person. You have not mentioned having any conflict or fight with this girl. It is just that you do not like her.

I hope you can sort yourself out about that. Perhaps your best friend can become a way for you to know that person and, hopefully, feel comfortable with her. She can even become one of your friends too. Frankly, you cannot stop your best friend from getting along with her or with anybody for that matter. Everyone, you included, is free to associate with anyone. True friendship can be tested in time. You cannot keep a friend all for yourself like a possession. You cannot fence her in. If and when your friendship with your best friend stays strong regardless of the people she gets into contact with, then you can say that your friendship is rock solid. Your fear of losing her is making you jittery and suspicious. Do not let fear rule your heart. Trust your best friend, and most of all, trust yourself that things will be well according to God’s will. It would be best for you to establish your friendship with Jesus. He is one friend who has been there and will always be there for you! 

In Jesus the Divine Master,
Kuya Olan


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